The "mad at your boss" part really isn't me being mad as much as it is impatience on my part. Work is definitely still in the recovery stage from the layoffs and our group still has no "REAL" direction or at least it hasn't been communicated to us. Knowing the stress my manager is under, I really do feel bad about getting upset. Do I feel it was unwarranted? No. I am still pissed off, but not at her. I am pissed off at our entire management team because right now, she's sitting at home, sick as a dog, due to stress that they have put on her for pulling it "all together". Now granted, she is a level "something - not sure what" manager and some stress is to be involved. It's unavoidable. But to make her feel like the entire company's direction is on her decisions... awful. And I know a lot of this is speculation on my part - she still has yet to tell me what's going on. I think I am at a crossroads in my career and I am not liking the choices of directions. I have a cushy job, to say the least and I have committed to taking on more responsibility as needed when the time arises. However, all of this is contingent on whether or not this latest medical episode from my boss causes her to make some "Life changing decisions" or not. If she doesn't stay, then there won't be much worth staying for. The direction of the company as it stands now is in a totally different direction than I would be and if Suzanne left, God only knows where they'd stick me. I know I have chosen a "wait and see" attitude because of loyalty to her and the fact that I want them to pay me to leave. I've made it through SO many layoffs these last 7 years and for once, I am thinking that maybe I got the worst end of the deal. (imagine that).
I have talked to Frank about this and he agrees that if she does leave then it may not hurt to have my resume ready to do the mass mailings, but if I do that, what do I give up? Let's list them (not in any particular order):
- 13 years of seniority (3 wks vacation + 4 floating holidays) - that would hurt to lose
- While not as many as it used to be, FRIENDS - I still have a bunch here - many of whom I am lucky enough to still work with - others just an email away
- $$$ - let's face it. I get paid nicely for what I do.
- Telecommuting - I have a sweet ride of an office set up here - nice laptop, flat screen monitor, nicely arranged to where I can view my own technology masterpiece (newly purchased quad core processor, 20 in widescreen monitor, and Logitech speakers). Can't find that kind of freedom in an office.
- Scheduling - while I have started being more strict on myself for when I log on and off from work again (8am - 4:30-5pm ) - I am still able to go run errands at lunch, clean the kitchen, go get the kids at a moment's notice all because I work from home.
- The economy sucks and gas prices would drain every spare penny we could save
There are many reasons to stay, but one of the comments in Communicator for one of my co-workers resonates everytime I glance at it. It says "Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Now OK, I can hear you from here. No I don't love my job THAT much, but honestly, it fits me. It's process and testing all rolled into one and while I manage schedules and deliverables, I don't manage resources. It's perfect for me and I have spent years keeping it.
All in all, I hope things are still ok with my manager and I hope more than anything that her health is getting better with the rest she's received (drugs help too!). If there was anything that I could tell her in her recovery, it would be to do what is best for her, the rest will fall into place, some how, some way... (I'm an optimist for those that don't know.)
As for the other friend that may be mad at me? I'm not sorry I said what I did and I hope it rang a bell in her head. If she is mad, but it helps her to get her head back on straight and on the road to recovery in the heart and head way? Then by all means, it was worth it.
I think I am going to close this post for now, I am sure I'll be back later.
Until then...
Kel
No comments:
Post a Comment