OK, I deserved some of the stress from yesterday because we did pick the busiest travel day of the year to go and see my father in law and his wife. Still, stop and go in every decent sized city from Cumming GA to Tifton GA making a 3.5 hour drive become an almost 6 hour drive does not make it any better.
Also, keep in mind that there have been things going on in the background to which I have not blogged about, well, because I haven't blogged lately. My bad. Something I am hoping to rectify this year (yeah, I know, I say it every year... maybe this year it will get better...). Just know that things with my brother in law, sister in law and their kids aren't any better than what they were earlier in the year. In fact, I would venture to say that they are worse. We haven't seen my niece, the youngest in the family - just turned a year in August, since she was about 3 or 4 months old. I haven't gotten any pictures or emails to tell me how they have been doing.... nothing... not a DAMN thing. The only news I receive is from my step-mother in law (she's the cool one) and 9 times out of 10, it's never with good news. It seems that the relationships have been strained for quite some time - it changed some how about 2 or 3 years ago. My BIL & SIL never take the kids to see my FIL (you can google the abbreviations, it's too much to type and the keys on this laptop aren't the greatest), and they only live 35 minutes away. I live 3 and a half hours away (sometimes more as previously mentioned) and am able to corral my 2 kids into the car and visit at least every quarter. It's not ideal, but it works and my kids know who their grandparents are. My mom is kind enough to come down and visit us on occassion and that works for me too. It brightens Ashleigh's day when she visits and she enjoys talking to Nana. Granted there is compromises made everywhere and that's ok. that's what family is all about. (forgive the missing capital letters, the keys on the keyboard are sticking and I am on a roll.)
This time though, my BIL has taken it too far and I am no longer going to sit and watch him implode him or his family. Frank hasn't talked to him since his birthday (IN AUGUST!!!) and we have tried to call a couple of times. I will admit that the relationship has been strange (we never hear from them and quite honestly, we are probably the bad apples because we do not always search them out either). Frank called them around Thanksgiving and we didn't hear anything back from them. Then on Christmas Eve Frank left another message letting them know that we would be down in So. GA and would love to get together and see them. Sunday after Christmas and we are packing the car to go down and we still haven't heard from them. I told Frank to leave the kids' gifts at the house because I didn't think that we'd see them. Well, as it turns out, I was right.
Yesterday after we arrived there were several things that were put into motion that caused me to seek the comfort of jack daniel and diet coke. I hardly ever seek it out that early in the visit. First thing was the obvious... I hate traffic and was completely tired from dealing with it. Second thing, after checking my phone about 2+ hours, I had 3 missed calls. One from Jen letting me know they had made it home (a good call), one from Ross, letting me know that Fred and Laura were good with a visit with us, but it had to be after 7p (another good call), third? Mom called to let me know that she had to take Smokey to the vet and have her put down, she was in kidney failure ( A VERY BAD thing). I called Mom back, making sure there wasn't anything I could do. Usually there isn't but you feel like a complete heel if you don't ask and that's usually what you do when you feel completely and totally helpless with things out of your control. It's just the way it is.
Then, as I was on the phone with my mom, Housten had called to talk to my FIL. ok, glimmer of hope??? nope, completely shot down to the ground and burning it's way to hell.
He managed to tell my FIL that it would (and I quote) "better for all" if he met FIL and MIL in the parking lot of a doctor's office (MIL had an eye dr appt in Valdosta) rather than get together with the rest of the family to exchange gifts. WTF? Christmas in a parking lot and they don't even get to see the kids, much less want to see us? WTF did we do to piss them off so badly? Are they ashamed of us, afraid of us, ashamed of themselves? WTH are they hiding? Is there something wrong? Needless to say FIL was pissed (justifiably) and there is concern for my niece. I know there are other things at work here. my SIL has always been "different" and off the wall with some things. And quite honestly, if there is something wrong there and my BIL isn't doing anything about it to get her help, then that's on him too. He needs to think about his priorities with the kids and at what cost all of this is going to do to them. The kids are the innocent victims here. They won't get to know what FANTASTIC grandparents they have, they won't know that they have an aunt and uncle that love them unconditionally, and they won't know that they have 2 great cousins who just want to play with them. :(
It is the afternoon and the doctor's visit is over. Nothing has been said so I assume it didn't go well. I can only anticipate with more hidden anger that I will hear about it eventually. You know things are going pretty badly on one side of the family when the FIL wants to talk about "heart to heart" items. :( I hate those conversations, but am flattered that they are directed to us and not a lawyer. Again, that's a good thing.... so I guess I will update more once I know what's going on. Maybe one day, I will find a way to type the concerns I have in a "Nice" way and send it to my BIL to get it on the "record" for how the impact to my husband and the rest of my beloved family is pissing me off.
Until later...
Kel
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