What to focus on…

At the end of the day, you can either focus on what's tearing you apart, or what's holding you together. – Marc and Angle Chernoff (from their 50 Happiness Quotes to Change the Way You Think post today)

It's been a while since I have posted and I really haven't had a whole lot to get off of my chest lately. I'm not flooding facebook with all of the positive things I read with my positive thinking and things that seem to hit home, but to be honest I don't know what would be a repeat and would not, so I am being a lot more selective about what I do re-post. That way, if it is a repeat it was worthy of reading twice – in my opinion.

I've been trying to stop worrying about the things that I shouldn't be and make improvements to what I actually can – my thinking, how I spend my time and who I spend it with and try to relax a bit more. I am taking a more proactive stance on doing the things that I (or my family as a group) want to do.
There are many things in my arsenal of things to worry about. Sadly enough, I am worried about many things that are not mine to worry about or try to fix and I am learning to say my prayers for those it impacts and letting it go. What's sad to me though, is that those same people may think that I don't care or that I'm not paying attention because it's not my usual approach to things. Yes, there are things that I am still worrying about but I am working for it to not take over all of my thinking as is normally would and drag me down into my own depression. For me, this is a big step and hard. My family is a set of natural worriers. I would swear it's in our genetic makeup, but it's not, it's our surroundings and what we were taught. My father was "THE" master worrier.

I am working hard to change the way I think about things rather than trying to change things that I cannot. Realization of that point alone, takes a lot to admit. You try so hard to convince others that your way is the right way because it "seems" right to you (and maybe other folks if you talk to them about it), but it may not seem "right" to the person or group of people it is affecting. There's no changing it, because it's not yours to change. There's no need to. Not really in the scheme of things, because in the end, you don't have to live with the results and yet we as a group of people will try our hardest to convince them that our way is the right way. I have learned that all that does is cause arguments, hurt feelings, implied conversations that never happen (because we "think" we know what someone else will say or do) and then everyone is left feeling hurt, bitter or mad.

All of it is in vain and means nothing at the end of the day. What matters at the end of the day is how you think about them and doing what you feel is right to either fix it, or realize that it is not yours to fix. If you focus on how bad it is or can be, then it will be bad. If you focus on how good things are, how many blessings you have, the fact that you have lived another day, breathed another breath and hugged your kids one more day, emailed them, talk to them, then it is good, great even. Focusing on these things when you feel overwhelmed can be hard though. I am learning, albeit the hard way/long way, is that you are not in control. God is the ultimate in control. There are times where the lesson is not yours to learn, or your never-ending lesson of patience is being tested. You would think I'd ace this lesson by now, but somehow, I keep learning it. So as I sit here and learn my lesson, I am going to do things I love to do. When you quit spending time worrying about what other people thing and do what makes you (and your family together where applicable) happy, you take the time to do more of those activities. So I am reading more, I am talking to friends more (even took a trip to the coast this weekend to help a friend in her bookstore), and I am spending more time with my family. Hubby and I walk just about every night and I am starting to relax. I haven't conquered this lesson and there are blips on the screen, I am working through them though and focusing on controlling what I can and letting the rest be handled by who really should own them. So my focus on positivity is going to be a hard one this year, but I think it will be a worthy focus and help me be the best person I can be.

If you've read all of this babble, thank you. I know it's hard to follow my thoughts sometimes and really this is more about getting my thoughts on "paper" so I can come back later and see what I have learned and watch the lessons progress.

Until next time…

Kel

PS:  If you haven't checked out Simple Reminders or Marc and Angel Hack Life yet, I highly suggest it.  They have great subscriptions and also lots of great posts on Facebook to read. :)