“I've never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don't understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.” – Sophia Loren
I have a theory. I think we go through cycles in life. You go through them with the same way that you go through aging. Infancy/learning; childhood/playful; adolescence/everyone wants to clobber you and you don’t know why; young adult/starting to learn that you don’t know anything; middle age/you have learned some, but not nearly as much as you want; golden years/worry about those around you too much and try to enjoy life. Many of us go through several different phases like this in everything you do. Your work, your friendships, your family etc. The point being, the entire thing is a never ending cycle and it is constantly evolving.
I think I am at the part in my life where I am trying to make amends, keep the friends that I have, get back some of the ones I have lost or neglected and just keep on keepin’ on for my kids and hubby. I can’t tell you what has changed to enlighten me, nor do I really care at this point other than I know it’s something I am doing. I had been waiting for my cousin Tina to make it to the 21st century and get a Facebook account. She finally did and after about a week or so of playing message tag, we finally connected. She sent me her phone number and I called her 2 days later. I have to admit, I was cautious at first, especially after telling them that we didn’t’ need them in AL for my dad’s funeral back in ’07. They graciously offered and I was told no. At the time I didn’t argue and it wasn’t really my choice. I just hate that it’s taken me 2 years plus to call her back. (my bad) However, when we did talk, it was like nothing had changed (the same that it always with her and I, from the time that we could walk I am sure). I sure did miss her and I can’t wait to see them again. Point being though, don’t run from those who helped make you who you are. Give them the credit that is due (good or bad – this one just happens to be good because I know that’s where part of my sense of humor comes from), and for whatever the reason, it is what helped you to become the person that you are now.
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” – Charles Swindoll
This is one I struggle with on a daily basis. I’m learning slowly but surely that I have to let go of things that I CANNOT control. I won’t lie, it’s hard for me. Worrying is like a chromosome of my genetic make-up; it’s what my family was good at. I think if there were a job for professional worriers, we’d all have PhD’s in it. I have to learn that there are battles I can control the outcome and those that I cannot. The thoughts of one person shouldn’t influence my own thoughts and I am my own person. Usually I don’t have a problem with this, but there are some things that, again, are inbred and I am working to get past. I’ve done well over the past 18+years due to my husband (God love him, he’s insane too for putting up with me) and I consider myself to be a pretty happy person all around. Something I hope people remember me for – my realistic hopefulness and my laughter. When you learn to react in a way that doesn’t cause you grief or extra worry (for the little things at least), then I think you tend to be happier. Because let’s face it, what of this stuff are we taking with us when we die? Not a whole lot. Live your life for today, live happy, BE happy and trust that you know yourself. When you do, you will see the world in a whole new light and love.
Until l8r…
Kel
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